Lemons
by Brittany Lynne Hobbs
Summary: Came up with it a two-am. Inspired by something I heard from a Hal Sparks show. Francis has fetishes, right? Some are down-right odd. Like this one. France/Fem!France (Yes, I just went there.) One-Shot! Reviews much appreciated, positive or otherwise! xD


**WARNING: This shit is going to offend half of you and disgust the other half. xD Inspired by a Hal Sparks bit I happened to catch on Pandora late one night...**

**Normally, I'm all for yaoi pairings, and I hardly -ever- write Hentai (Okay, I -never- write Hentai, and I never go graphic on Yaoi. I'm a Yuri girl. xD) but I had no other way to do this. It's about two-am right now, I've been listening to porn music (OK GO - Get Over It) and Rihanna (Granted, there ain't much of a difference, but I digress) so this was created.**

**Enjoy, and feel free to rant, rave, and hate in the reviews. ... As I said, it's two am, anything I write at this time, I don't give a fuck who hates it. xD**

**Pairing: Francis/Fem!Francis (Gives new meaning to the term "go fuck yourself," eh?)**

**Copyright disclaimer: Hetalia does not belong to me, neither does France or his female counterpart. Any direct quotations are accredited to the wonderful and hilarious Hal Sparks (If any of you watch/listen to him and know which bit I'm talking about, you'll get why I have to say the idea came from him) I simply put a story line to it~**

**This one's for Haily! Guh, you wanted me to keep writing it, so here ya go! All the blood, sweat, tears, and disgusted gagging that went into this was for your comedic relief. xD**

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Francis was wild. Francis also had some of the oddest, most perverse fetishes alive. One of them being lemons. The Frenchman was currently sprawled over his female counterpart, crystal dishes of lemon wedges scattered around them.

Francine pulled one of the sour objects from a dish resting on a silken pillow at the head of the bed, squeezing it slightly before she flipped over, grinning up at the man ontop of her. "Mon cheri.. Vhat do you suggest I do with zhis~?" she giggled

The man slid down onto his knees, looking down at her, "Vhy, whatever you want." he chuckled, watching as she sat up, pressing a hand to his chest and pushing him back against the mattress. God, he loved when she took control over him. It turned him on like you'd never believe.

Francine thought for a moment, her lips quirking into a small smile before she straddled herself on the man's lower back, squeezing a small amount of lemon juice onto his ass before trailing the edge of the fruit down.. and sliding it into his entrance. Francis let out a small moan, "Mon cheri!" he gasped, growing anxious as his member hardened considerably

The woman slid off of her lover, watching as he pulled two lemons from a dish, sliding them between already juicy fingers, "Care to share~?" he grinned, sprawling back out over the woman, tracing his tongue around a nipple

Francine groaned, reaching down and pulling at the man's long blonde locks, "S-Suck!" she commanded. Francis smiled, happy to indulge the woman. nipping at her nipple ever so gently. He licked and sucked his way down her torso, letting his tongue linger over her clit for a few moments as he teased a lemon around her entrance, finally pushing the fruit inside of her. It stung, but she liked it.

Francis took the other lemon he had and stuck it in his mouth, sucking on it as he began sliding his hardened length into her, pulling out just once to add the other lemon slice before pounding back in. Francine moaned in complete ecstasy, bucking her hips against the man, "Francis! Oh! Oh!" she moaned

Francis smiled, leaning his head back as he felt the lemon juice squeeze out against his thrusting member, pushing the fruits farther and farther up into the woman until they had no place left to go. Sour juice flowed out as the man came inside of her.

The blonde woman gasped as muscles began to constrict and release in orgasm, all the while the lemon wedges pulsated within her, juice still releasing.

And that's why French women were called tarts.

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**Haily... I had to write with penises. I hope you're happy. T-T**

**Everyone else... Well, you're probably all judging me. Oh well. This was written at two am. I don't care. xDD**

**~Brittany**


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